My heart is broken….and has been consistent with unexpected loss over again… even since Dean Blixt…and the heartache consistently continues to come when the owls hoot outside in preparation …and the Constellation Orion… the fierce winter warrior… frolics overhead hunting it’s prey… across the dark morning sky…. followed by his faithful and so stellar….canine companions…his big and little dogs….Canis Major…who holds the key to the brightest star in the night sky… always watching overhead…with its rainbow star…Sirius…..along with Canis Minor… the little hot dog….just two stars that connect in a straight line… side by side.
Some say people can die of a broken heart but I am here to tell you I believe my beautiful dog Rockafeller died from one in his fort under the bed sometime after midnight last night.
Rocky, my sweet and sassy 11.5 year old firecracker, fittingly born on the fourth of July. Another one of my feisty foster failures.
Ugh… He recently had surgery just days before Yogi had to put down… they both have now died just one month apart. The two dogs were even related …Uncle and Nephew.
With Rocky, doctors had just removed spindle cell tumors that are soft tissue sarcomas. Yet since surgery in just the last week he developed glaucoma and heart arythmia. He hated his eyes drops, adding to more stress on his heart, and since the loss of Dean…then Schatzi…then…Yogi….he hadn’t been the same. None of my furbabies are….and to be honest…I’m not the same either.
My heart is broken and severed into klaiedescope hope as I continue to lose my greatest joys on this entire planet.
When I awoke to give him eye drops about 3am I realized his fate and in my frantic state I rushed to the garage where a wire cross hangs on a nail above the door opener. That’s when this wire cross made by a man whose dog and puppy I rescued because he was going into a homeless shelter got stuck on one of my “healing bracelets” that I’ve collected since Dean died from Churches and Cathedrals during my travels with American Airlines from all around the world…Madrid, Peru, Bogata, Mexico, etc.
I’ve broken so many over time as the blessings fall off yet while scrambling to get Rocky into my Jeep one of my St. Benedict bracelets blessed from a Cathedral in Mexico got caught on that wire cross and my battle began.
I was sooo angry pulling and tugging yelling at God to let go…and get it off…..I needed to hurry… but to no avail – that cross wouldn’t budge.
I ran inside to grab scissors…frantic and frustrated….and angry…and in shock… and just as I was set to cut off the bracelet…several minutes into the struggle…. the cross wire bent….and dropped to the ground…. And I rushed out the door with Rocky… only to realize the irony of it all: I was being guided by my great and graceful Warrior and all my beloved faithful companions overhead.
So run …. Rocky, run!!!….They are all waiting for you! I will always be looking for you my sweetest itty-bitty up in the night sky. Keep watch overhead and be a good boy.
I love you with all my heart and soul, my little hot dog … sweet Canis Minor…😇
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