Today came and went just like you did five months ago, Dean Blixt. Good grief!
How does anyone comprehend instant death!? I’ve thrown flip flops at the wall, torn up styrofoam packing like the Tasmanian Devil, all tucked away safe inside a box simply to protect the 60 inch TV I surprised you with after passing the CFP board exam, not even two months before you up and left.
I’ve sworn up to heaven like that’s really going to help. I’ve even embraced a few good closet cries as if hugging your clothes so tight one might imagine you there to withstand the blow of my heartbreak, somehow comforting my grief.
Everything, everyday, in every moment reminds me of you. I see you in the yard, at the store, at the grill, walking with the dogs, around the house, in the car, in a plane, at the movie theater, at the kitchen table, at a restaurant, at the gas station, in my dreams … I even hear your laughter watching late night TV.
In this deep crater I’m in I look up and realize this trek I’m on isn’t by choice. I can only put one foot in front of the other like the abominable snowman. Therefore any outcome is the result of being on a path I don’t necessarily care to take yet I have no say in this matter. Even a gratitude attitude takes work in accepting this mission. It’s like daily life without you is accomplishment by punishment. I pray the outcome better be good, yet who am I to think this life’s journey has to have meaning greater than my comprehension?
Still, it is my hope. As I forage along trying to find my way on a road less traveled I realize we are all headed for the same place – a dead end! I guess Dean just walked a bit faster. I sure hope I don’t get lost along the way.
#MakeYourDashCount #dcbj 65-18